to take or not to take..

Bismillah..

I've always dreamt of getting into International Islamic University Malaysia (IIUM) a.k.a UIA since I was in Form 1. Yes, Form 1! Sometimes I'm just proud of myself for having such a clear goal in my life in which I was very determined to undergo my Degree in UIA :) But as a human being, I've also been tested by Allah when sadly to say, I didn't get to pursue my Degree there and had a better place instead, Maktab Perguruan Sultan Abdul Halim, Sungai Petani, Kedah. A place where I've met my bestest bestest BFFJ, Wan Madihah Bt. Wan Abd. Rahman Jauhari and 23 other people who played great significance in my life :) Thank You Allah for every second, minute and hours spent with them, its just priceless and I really do treasure my 23 besties :) My dream was not over just yet~~

So now, I'm 25 years old and single, I feel like this is the right time to pursue my Master in TESL. Why not? The reason I'm all geared up to pursue my Master is because I'm not married yet, which gives me a lil bit comfort that I have all the time I need to go through the 'painful' process, hehe. Besides, it'll be my next step in achieving my dream to get into UIA since I could be a lecturer once I've completed my Master and end my contract with BPG, InsyaAllah :)

'Akak patut amek la, ayah stuju', my dad's strong approval made me even all ablaze with excitement. And so I thought, I should start now. Since I'm teaching in JB, I have two choices, either to pursue it in UPM or UTM. Having little discussions with my parents, siblings and friends, I may go for UTM since it seems good to me in terms of facilities, lecturers and its kind of practical for me as it only takes about 30 minutes to reach there. Besides, I can't deny the fact that I'm attracted to its captivating building structure and landscape~ woohooo, kind of giving me the motivation you know :p

I'm still thinking about it and when the time comes, it'll come anyway. So now I just have to pray hard, plan and let Allah decides what's best for me :)

Those who say: "Our Lord, we have indeed believed, so forgive us our sins and save us from the punishment of the Fire. (al-imran, 3:16) (they are) Those who are patient, those who are true (in Faith, words and deeds), and obedient with sincere devotion in worship to Allah. Those who spend (give the Zakat and alms in way of Allah) and those who pray and begs Allah's pardon in the last hours of the Night (al-imran, 3:17)

my own module?

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim..

I believe that this year is a year where I can truly reflect on my teaching method since 2009 is not counted. And why is that? Because as funny as it seems, I didn't get to teach English even though I'm majoring in English, and that I had to teach Bahasa Melayu Form 2, which was~ hmm, very tough! Even worse, I myself couldn't really conceive some of the terms contained in the literature component, what can I say~ too higher level, hehe :p

Anyway, sitting on the couch during the school hols is just not me and because of that, some ideas just keep running in my head~ there's something I must be doing at this time instead of just watching the not-so-entertaining programmes on the tv and day-dreaming.

And so I thought, why not if I try creating MY OWN MODULE for Prisoner Of Zenda, Form 3. Ahha, what an idea. But how to start? A question that I should really ponder upon. So to begin with, I have started collecting photos from the net and making my graphic organisers. The graphic organisers are meant to help students to be able to grasp the whole idea of the novel before actually jumping into the reading part. Sounds good to me :p

Besides that, this module will also encourage students to draw a lot, which I think would be amusing for students with visual-spatial intelligences. Instead of just listening to my plain boring lecture in front of the class, the students could draw, thus maybe, maybe helping them to remember better. And come on guys, who could actually admit that they hate drawing? Though I'm not that good in drawing, some teachers would actually look at my sketches (and complimented on it :p) whenever I felt really bored in a meeting.. ;)

This module is intended to redeem myself this time to be a better teacher in the future, InsyaAllah. I'm still learning and yes, I need more experience. By talking to my colleagues especially my KP, Pn. Jayachandrika really made me realize that I could not give up now and I have a loooooong way to go. 'Burnout' should never be in my dictionary right now so, aja-aja fighting! :)

So please, please pray for me as I'm trying to finish up my module before the school hols ends.. Wassalam..

Assalamualaikum and best regards to Muslimin Muslimat, and not forgotten to anyone who happens to view my page :)

Well, it has been 'ages' since I wrote in my last column, not that I'm that busy, but just finding space for myself between work and life and happiness :) The space does not come easily so, I actually had a hard time looking for one.. But let's not talk about it, cos I have an even better topic to be discussed rite now :)
When people asked me, "do you really want to be a teacher?" I would answer this way, "Hmm, not really, my dad asked me to take the tesl course, it was never in my ambitions list". Well, to tell you the truth, there was a bit guilt in myself each time I answered that 'particular' question. It's like as if I was blaming my dad (or myself) for choosing this path for me, and indirectly, I even felt guilty for not being thankful for what Allah has set up upon my life.. Who are we to whine when there is other people who is living even worse life?

Both my housemates in JB are GSTT (Guru Sandaran Tidak Terlatih), for those who do not know what it means, it means that they are contract teachers and the contract will last until the year ends. To talk about my housemates would be another topic, but what I'd like to share with you guys is about one of them who is a married kakak by the name of Kak I. So what happened was, I just got out of my room when I heard sobbing from the next room. And so the one who was sobbing is Kak I. I quickly ran to her, asking what happened and she burst into tears all of a sudden! I kept quiet for a while, leaving her and her emotional state alone.

After wiping out her tears, she told me, "Kamilah, akak positive pregnant", and I was confused :s I looked at her, asking myself, why on earth would she be sad after knowing that she is pregnant?! I mean, would that be great? Why is she crying? I just don't get it! And for a while, I said, "kak, nape akak nangis plak? bukan ke org yg dah kahwin nak anak?" (with my eyes opened like a fish gasping for air), innocent. "Kamilah, kalo akak pregnant, kontrak akak akn terbatal scr automatik, nnt akak tak dpt keje, kalo akak tak keje nnt cmne?" I was numb. I just didn't know what to say and how to say it. I had a still point at that minute. I'm not a contract teacher, I'm a REAL teacher!! I was offered a position as an English academic teacher soon after I've completed my degree in education! And why am I complaining all this while? Shouldn't I be thankful?

"Ya Allah, guide myself from going astray, thank you Allah for everything"