Monday, August 3, 2009

i'm still grateful

things may not be as i expected it to be, BUT i am still happy and grateful and couldn't ask for more :)

Monday, July 6, 2009

life is unfair but i'll keep on going


I never really believe in discrimination, though I know it happens. It had happened to my dad, my mom, my sisters and brother. These people I mention are the people enslaved by discrimination at workplace, and I thank Allah, now that my dad has retired and will be followed by my mom who is planning to take an option-leave at the age of 55.

I never really believe in discrimination, though I knew how much hurt it'll cost. But now I do believe. Because I myself have been the victim of hatred and injustice happening in my own school. The school where I dedicate half of my day at, the school where I should feel happy and safe. The school where I should come to and fro with smiles and not tears. But I dont feel like it now, beacuse sometimes what lies beneath myself are hatred and maybe vengeance.

Nauzubillah, never in my heart would I want to take on vengeance on anyone, though I have to admit that I hate you. You who put on a mask and beneath the mask is only cruelty, shows no-empathy and gives no mercy towards a nobody like me.

I'm not like any other people who could smile all the time, I may be a bit slow but I do my work with all my heart and patience. I'm not like any other teachers who could compliment on your nice kurungs, I'm not the ones who always look for you at your office just for your signature, I'm not the ones who open up easily to people like you. I'm not the ones who could easily have a nice chat with you at the canteen.

that DOES NOT MEAN I'm arrogant. That DOES NOT MEAN that I'm mean. That DOES NOT MEAN that I have no potentials in me. That DOES NOT MEAN that I don't do my work. That DOES NOT MEAN that I could not bring out the best in me.

I pray that Allah will always be with you no matter what you have done to me and your other victims. I pray that Allah will show you guidance. I pray that one day you will realize your wrongdoings towards me. I pray that Allah will give you MERCY though you never gave me one.


Ya Allahumma Amin, please give me strength.

Friday, July 3, 2009

i wonder..


Assalamualaikum and greetings to all readers..

I'm sure that everyone is much aware of the not-so-recent issues of the 'Datukships' title in Malaysia. Well, I'm just wondering why such title could easily be for sale. And of course, who am I to overstep the decisions made by the authority, but surely this baffling scenario makes me and even you wonder.. Moreover, we have got used to this issue that we have become ignorant sometimes. It's not that I'm questioning the system today, but to what extent somebody could be given such a BIG title? Is somebody with many contributions to the country entitled to the title itself? Or is it someone who successfully bring and carry the name of our country to the world is good enough to be recognised with the title 'Datuk' or 'Dato' with their name? And how do you actually count somebody contributions towards the country?

I dare not to mention any names related to this issue as it is quite sensitive. But what if these recognition, status and title are credited to the wrong people? What if they really do not deserve whatsoever recognition given to them, instead maybe it should be given to those who deserve it more than them? To those who are much more competent maybe? Even worse, what if those who deserve it are blindly overlooked? Well, it's hard to express it this way cos people might think that you are jealous of someone's title, but believe me, I don't feel a thing! I'm just wondering cos I believe that people should be given recognition based on what they have contributed and served. And at least, the contribution that they have given SHOULD also serve as beneficial enough towards the religion, nation and the next generation. And if somebody is given this status just because they are good at singing and acting, are they deserving enough to be given such title? Please don't get me wrong as I'm not against anyone but at least, please give the normal people a chance to believe that they also have contributed much to the country and that they have served for the country just as much or maybe more that the people who had been given those titles. I myself would personally feel happy and glad for those who get promoted and recognised for what they have contributed.

p/s: Teachers are like candles... They burn themselves just to light up the life of their students.. Should teachers contribute a lot to the country, aren't they all deserve the 'TITLE' as well? ;p Think about it...

Monday, June 29, 2009

a night turned scary


Assalamualaikum and greetings :)

Jut for sharing, this is one story that maybe for a girl like me, might be considered as 'a worst-case phone scenario'. It happened 3 days ago, and I thought, why not share, cos maybe it is worth mentioned.

As I was happily and peacefully having dinner wif my family at one restaurant, my phone rang and an unidentical number appeared on my phone screen. Thought that maybe it was one of my friends or my student, I answered without any hesitance.

Me: "Hello assalamualaikum".

A lady: "Wei, ni sape nih?!"

Me: (trying to be calm) "Ni sape?"

A lady: "Eii, ko jgn nk tanye2 ni sape plak eh, ko ni sape?"

Me: "Sy tanye baik2 nih, ni sape? Ape hal ni kak?"

A lady: "Eii pompuan, ko da kaco suami org, pastuh ade hati nk blakon plak?! Cmne no ko bley ade dlm fon suami aku ah?!!"

Me: (I was really shocked that i couldn't think for a moment!) Akak, sy x kenal pon akak, sy x kenal pon suami akak. Ok cmni, ape no suami akak ni?"

A lady: "017-*******.. Eh, ko jgn nk blakon la!! Aapahal ko kaco2 suami org ni ha?! da xde jantan lain ke?!"

Me: "Ha?! Kak, sy rase, akak ni silap org la, sy x kenal pon no suami akak tuh"

Right after that, my dad asked me to pass my phone to him, anger on his face...

A lady: "Weh, ko jgn nk blakon la!!"

My dad: "Hello, ni sape nih?"

A lady: "Ni sape?!"

My dad: "Ni ayah die!! Ok cmnila, sy kenal anak sy, die x pernah nk kaco2 suami org nih, sy kenal die (at this point of time, i began to feel really sad and awwww, my dad knows me, he believed in me..time kaseh yah :(

A lady: "Mslhnye pkck, anak pkck kaco suami sy!!" (my dad said dat her tone never changed, always rising)

My dad: "Suami awk ni keje ape? Pegawai? doktor? smp anak sy terkejar2 kt suami awk nih" (u go ayah, in your face woman!! hehe)

A lady: " X kesahla die keje ape pon"

My dad: "Cmnila, sy rs awk ni da silap org.. Anak sy x pernah kaco laki org.. Sy cdgkn, ape kate awk siasat btol2, ntah2 suami awk yg menipu awk, jgn percaya sgt2 kate die.. Mmg sbg isteri, awk kene patuh n dgr die, tp siasat dl.. Btol x suami awk nih.. Sy takot, silap2 die yg tipu awk. Pasni, tlg jgn kaco lg anak sy, awk xde urusan ngan anak sy.. Jage suami awk elok2 ye"

A lady: "Hmm, assalamualaikum."

As a conclusion, I never really thought that this kind of scenario would ever happen to me, it's like one of the episodes in the drama, really!! :p To be honest, I pity that lady for jumping into conclusion so easily, but then again, I understand her situation as I am also a woman. But to raise her voice in such a way portrayed just who she is...

FYI, the number that the lady mentioned was actually her husband's number, BUT, one thing that she did not know was, her husband was actually the one who called me, saying that he wanted to 'berkenalan', and so I knew that this guy was like any other typical pervert guy, i hang up the phone. I bet you would know, the typical traditional tactic where the guy would accidentally dialled the wrong number, and once they knew that you're a girl they will say, "oh silap no ek, xpela, ni sape ni ek? nk kenal bley?" Please la.. Wish that I could just tell the lady that her husband might not be like whom she thinks he is..

Sunday, June 28, 2009

My Cohort 2 :'(

i used to think
what it would be like when you are parted from your friends
would you feel so terrible
so hurt
or relieved

as for me
i felt remorse
as there were some things i could not say
i left it behind
hoping that i could assuage this feeling
but no, i could not

i still feel bad
cos my friends might think that i was not sad
cos when the time i left them behind
i did not really look into their face
nor did i cry
cos there were no more tears left
i just couldn't cry

now that i am all alone
and so do they
this peregrination may caused us feeling bored
or tired
and it ended so soon
but i pray that this feeling i have for them
will never fade away
i miss my COHORT 2 so bad
and i love them all with all my heart...

Wednesday, May 27, 2009



Assalamualaikum and greeting to all :)

Tadi masa adik kite (sori, tpakse gune 'aku', gune 'saye' cm klaka sgt :p ) yg. paling 'acin' balik dr. sekolah, Akmal, die pon kate cmni, "kak Kamilah, Mal ade Sambutan Hari Guru kat sekolah Jumaat nih, tak tau nk beli ape.." Hehe, aku pon jawab, "Oyeke, Mal bg. kad pon jadila, nnt. Lah (name panggilan aku kt adik aku :p ) bley tolong watkan kad tuh utk Mal :p (kakak yg baik nih ;p ) hahaha..

Neway, post kali ni tak berkaitan ngan Hari Guru pon, tapi ini adalah serba sikit fakta kenangan, perkara giler dan memalukan yang pernah berlaku kat aku ms sekolah menengah dulu.. :) Hope korg enjoy bace :)

1. Pernah sekali tuh ms tuh aku duduk depan skali ms perhimpunan, pastuh PK HEM, Pengetua, Cikgu Bertugas, Pengawas yg baca ikrar tuh ckp lame sgt smp kaki aku kebas sgt2, tp nk tukar kaki kang bahaya sbb aku duduk dpn skali dan depan aku ade cikgu sdg berbaris perhatikan kitorg (perasan, ntah2 xde pon cikgu tuh tgk kat aku :p ) hehe.. Nak dijadikan cter, bile dah abes assembly, kitorg kene bgn class by class dan trus pegi ke class. Kaki aku kn kebas, dan kelas aku kelas yg ke-4 patot bergerak, kwn aku pon ckp, "eh Kamilah, bgn la!!", aku pon ms tuh dah tak tau nk wat cmne sbb kaki aku mmg sgt kebas time tuh thp Ultraman, smp xbley gerakkan jari lgsg.. Pastuh aku pon ckp kat kwn aku, "xpe2, awk bgn dl ek".. MasyaAllah, pastuh bdk class lain trus sume pndg aku sbb aku sorg je yg maseh melekat kat lantai perhimpunan sdgkn bdk class aku sume dh naik class... :s hehe..

2. Aku pnh diludah, btol2 kene kat lengan baju skolah, oleh siape pon aku tak tau.. Tapi, aku syak, org tuh adlh ******..hehe.. :p Pastuh, trus aku rs nk loya sbb air liur atas lengan baju aku tuh maseh berbuih-buih, uweeekkk2.. Geli sgt :(

3. Mase Form 2 dl 'nakal' sket, suke dtg skolah lmbt ngan kengkwn, smp ade satu ari tuh, waktu kelas Agama, ustaz tuh perli aku ngan kengkwn sbb dtg lmbt, "knape lmbt? banjir ke kt umah?".. Mintak maaf ye Ustaz, xde niat nk jd jahat, ms tuh tak dpt kesedaran lg :p hehe

Geng2 ms Form 2 yg maseh rapat smp skrg :)

4. Aku ngan kengkwn pnh kene marah ngan pengawas yg jauh lbh mude drp kitorg, sbb kitorg bising dlm surau.. Ish2..

5. Ms final exam SPM, org sebelah aku yg aku kenal, iaitu Ili Fatin drp Class pertama, 5 Alfa, blk awal ms paper Add math, sbb die dh siap.. Sdgkn mase tuh aku maseh terkial2 ngan soalan ke brape pon aku x ingat.. :s mase tuh aku pikir, abesla Add Math aku :s tp. Alhamdulillah, I got C utk Add Math, ok la gak kn? :p

6. Pnh di reject tuk menyertai PRS, sbb aku rs ms interview tuh, part yg plg aku ntah pape adlh ms aku x reti wat dialog cmne nk nasihatkn perokok.. Hehe :p

7. Pnh lupe skrip ms wakil Puteri Islam utk ptandingan syarahan.. Malunye Allah je yg tau :(

8. Pnh jakun kejap ms aku terserempak ngan pnyanyi Krisya dan pelakon Zizie Izzati yg juga berskolah kat skolah aku dl :p haha..

9. Cikgu BM aku pnh bg nasihat cmni, "bile awk masuk U nnt, cr 2 C, iaitu cita-cita dan cinta", hehe.. Time kaseh atas nasihat cikgu Kartina!! :p

Hehe, so kpd kwn2, marilah kite berkongsi cter2 yg klakar atau cter2 yg best ms skolah dl :) jom la, mesti best!! :)

Tuesday, May 26, 2009



Assalamualaikum and greetings to all.. :)

I believe that 'sharing is caring', and because of that, here are some of the things that I wanna share with you guys (may not be of your concern, but still, just wanna share :p ) Ya Allahumma Amin, may these things turn into reality someday :D InsyaAllah..

First on the list is to own a car :) Apart from realistically cheaper than other cars, Myvi is also spacious, practical and cute and so, I think Myvi would be more than just enough for me :) InsyaAllah, i want this exact colour for my very first car!! :)

Oh well, just CAN'T wait for that day :p

A GOOD treat for my family and I.. Ooooohhh :p

A GREAT vacation with my family :D Dubai? Bali? Egypt? :p

I WANNA CAT :) Soooo CUTE!!!! :)

Sunday, May 24, 2009



Assalamualaikum and greetings to all..

So I've been apart of these bunch of crazy, witty, funny, and intelligent people whom I'd love to address as Cohort 2 for almost 6 years, here are the very 10 things that I LOVE and HATE about Cohort 2..

** WARNING!! This post contains NO hatred, jealousy or even offenses, just an extra thought for us to get back to reality
... And believe me, reality hurts :(


1. After 6 years, we still eat together at the canteen while enjoy gossiping the juicy stories :p , chatting, and creating riddles that sometimes apparently, were not logic at all!! :p Haha, i still remember Tqah's riddle which sounds something like dis;

(location: canteen, we were having our lunch at dat time)

tqah: "pe mende yg warna putih yg tadi ade, skrg. xde?"
kitorg: "ha? x tau!!"
tqah: PAKCIK KANTIN!! haha ;p
kitorg: "nape pakcik kantin plak?"
tqah: yela, die kan pki kopiah putih tuh!! haha ;p adoi, tqah2..

2. We have conquered all parts of Kedah, thanx to those who have always wanted to try new places and food (this goes esp. to Maddy) :D

3. We have the same thoughts, well, not always.

4. We know how to cover things up :p

5. We love cameras!! :p

6. We evolve physically, emotionally and intellectually :D Ok fine, the 'physically' may not include Gda, Najat, Ejat, Winnie, Lee Anne and Eva cos they are all thin and always thin :p

7. We love movies.

8. We made our lecturers proud by our work and creativity, hehe, Alhamdulillah :D

9. We love each other's company :D

10. We enjoy performing on stage :D


1. The fact that we are not that united.

2. The fact that we tend to forget who we are as a Muslim :(

3. The fact that we hardly advice one another..

4. The fact that we do not know just how and what is the right word to say it..

5. The fact that we could not easily bury the hatchet and really, it hurts :(

6. The fact that we are so close that sometimes we tend to forget the limitation between boys and girls :(

7. The fact that we whine a lot..

8. The fact that we are not thankful and grateful enough of what we have.

9. The fact that we tend to follow the lifestyle of the West.

10. The fact that we are going to be apart :'(

These are the 20 Things that I hope will always be remembered and reminisced by all my Cohort 2 friends and you, those out there, yet there are also some of the things that I sincerely hope, would be some kind of warning and advice for myself and also for my friends :( Please do not get me wrong, as a good friend will never want to see their friends in the WRONG PATH, and I always believe that we still have time to repent :( :(


Ya Allah, jangan Engkau biarkan nasib kami ditentukan oleh diri kami sendiri; walaupun kadar sekelip mata atau kadar masa yang lebih cepat daripada itu.





Assalamualaikum and greetings :D

I came across dis story in Yahoo! news and it was so amusing dat I think it should be shared with everyone. It was a bout a 6 year-old boy who surprisingly and amazingly grabbed the wheel of his family's pickup truck when his father passed out from low- blood sugar!! Seriously, for me, the boy should be given more than just a pat on his back :D

Since I just took my license last year with my beloved fren, Wani, I DO NOT deny the CRAVING that I have for driving, and I 'll grab any opportunities to drive by any given chance with no doubt. My BFFJ, Maddy, wud surely agree wif dat, as she had an experience of me, driving her car, all the way from the Jonas' brothers (haha :p) quarters right until our block. The fact that she had to gimme the chance and that I wud 'merajok' if not, made her agree at last, haha :p Tengkiu Maddy, for granting my wishes, hehe, and I dun have the right to blame you for having second thought pun, cos I know how your "Wira" means a lot to you :p

Speaking of license, here are some of the hardships and sweetest moments that I've been through, just to share;

1. I've been cheated by my driving school, Wani and I paid twice even more than the promised fees.

2. I learned the "bukit" lesson just ONE DAY before the real JPJ test!!

3. I was locked up in a hot and stuffy room for like one hour cos the JPJ came to my driving school, and only God knows why (I wasn't alone, there were around 15 others at dat time).

4. My instructor kept eating nuts when I was driving, and she yelled at me a lot. DEI, YOU NUT!! :p

5. My JPJ instructor was a good-looking guy ;p hehe

6. I passed my JPJ test wif flying colours!! :D ~wheeee~ Alhamdullilah, I believe that Allah really helped me at that time, cos I know that I'm not that good, hehe..

Saturday, May 23, 2009



Assalamualaikum and greetings :D

It is shameful on how some people can be so ungrateful of what they have and how Muslims nowadays are only Muslims by its name. Really, it is sad :( When i began to reflect on myself, I wonder, am i one of them?. Nauzubillah, but i hope not. But then again, to reflect solely on one thing is just NOT enough, but the WHAT NEXT is of most important, as taught by my lecturer, Mdm. Shirley..

Cat Steven @ Yusuf Islam made a statement once dat;


What do you feel Muslims? Ashame? Don't bother? or is it Neutral?. So here's the thing, just in case if you haven't tried dis before, maybe dis is the best time for you to try dis at home (my ayah taught me dis) :D

1. look at the sky.

2. look closely at the sky.

3. and then look at yourself.

4. how small we are compared to Allah. He alone is the Creator and the Master of the universe and no other can claim and share in His Godhood of sovereignty.

So what next?

Wallahua'lam, a reminder for myself also.


Friday, May 22, 2009



Assalamualaikum and greetings to all :D

I know, i know, some people mite be surprised by dis newly created blog, but then again, hey, it's alwiz better late than never rite? :p So here goes my first and foremost post..

I have quite a lot of stories to begin actually, but first, may be it wud be good to share some of the things that u may not know about me, dis is especially dedicated to all my frens, as sometimes u may think u know ur frens very well, but the fact hits u when sometimes u may not know them at all..hehe..

1. I used to bite my nails until it bleeds when i was in my primary school years, and it hurts so bad that i couldn't eat using my own hands, therefore, i had to use fork and spoon when eating. But pls dun blame for that, since i had to bite my nails whenever i need to think and crack my heads for ideas (if u dun believe me, feel free to ask one of my coursemates, faiz, he understands the situation better) :p

2. When my father went to Makkah, he sat next to a guy who bites his nails when praying, and straight away it reminds him of me, haha :p

3. Now i DO NOT bite my nails anymore since im way old and mature enough, and the fact that i have to take a good care of my hygiene and afraid dat i mite get anyone scared out of me for having such a terrible fingernails :p

4. My golden years during primary school was being the representative for my school, SK Taman Permata, for storytelling, and i just LOVE to tell stories. U know wat i like the most about storytelling? It was the COSTUMES!! :D

5. When i was in standard 4, i got an offer from RTM to be the host for one of the kids' programme on TV, but my parents rejected the offer, as they were afraid that i will no longer interested to study, adoi ;p

6. I'm truly touched when my parents decided to postpone their vacation to Bandung cos apparently, the date falls on my convocation day which InsyaAllah, will be held in August.. I still remember when my father told me, " xpe akak, Bandung tu bile2 bole pegi, ayah x sampai hati kalo ayah x pegi konvo akak" :( Time kaseh mak ayah.. :(

7. I have made many mistakes in life dat i wish i cud turn back time and change it, yet i know dat it wud be IMPOSSIBLE.. but still, i'm learning and trying to change, and being a GOOD AND HUMBLE KHALIFAH will alwiz be my destiny.. For those out there, let us change together bit by bit, and start wif a CLEAN SHEET, InsyaAllah :D

Till we meet again in the next post, InsyaAllah :D

About Me

My photo
Taman Permata, Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia
Someone who wants to start with a clean sheet.